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because at such times I heard much of my Cre<br />
-ators having become a Child, &amp; <abbr>suffer&#39;d</abbr> &amp; died for<br />
me. The Holy Ghost indeed soon made it clear to<br />
me, that by nature I was a bad Child, &amp; showed<br />
me my Selflove, Pride <abbr>&amp;c</abbr>: but this proved no<br />
disturbance to my Childlike Confidence towards<br />
God. I often prayed to him to take me to him-<br />
-self, <emotion>being afraid of losing that happy feeling</emotion>, &amp;<br />
forfeiting my happiness when I grew older: &amp; <emotion>at<br />
such times I felt remarkably well: but as I<br />
grew in years, my deep depravity manifested<br />
itself more &amp; more:</emotion> I came more into company<br />
the world flattened me, and every body thought<br />
me very good, <abbr>till</abbr> at length I began to be pleas-<br />
-ed with myself, &amp; accommodate myself to others,<br />
in order to gain their favor, by which the good<br />
understanding between me &amp; my dear Savior<br />
was interrupted: nevertheless this inclination<br />
to enjoy the world <emotion>was accompanied with con-<br />
-stant </emotion><sic><emotion>anixety</emotion></sic><emotion>&nbsp; </emotion><corr><emotion>anxiety</emotion></corr><emotion> of heart</emotion>, my thought accusing<br />
&amp; excusing one another: an hundred times I<br />
promised to be converted &amp; to grow better, &amp; was<br />
as often obliged to own, that I was not able to<br />
effect it. Thus <emotion>I spent several years in an un<br />
-happy condition</emotion>, &amp; if my faithful <abbr>Sav</abbr><hi rend="superscript"><abbr>r</abbr></hi><abbr>.</abbr> had not<br />
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