Moravian Lives

any one to see me & stay'd until it was dark: At another time the
Enemy put such thoughts into my Head, as I saw no <sic>likelyhood</sic>  <corr>likelihood</corr> of my
finding happiness on Earth, I would therefore take the first Opportunity of
putting an end to my Life; and I went one day by the Water Side to com-
<sic>pleat</sic>  <corr>plete</corr> my Wicked Intention; but the ever <sic>faithfull</sic>  <corr>faithful</corr> Friend of Sinners still
watched over me, & prevented my wicked design: I returned home with
<emotion>Shame, & true Repentance</emotion>, begging of the Lord to put all such thoughts
far from me, & to look in Mercy on my afflicted Soul; A few Nights after
I dreamed that I was in my Fathers Garden, & was sighing & bemoaning
my distress of heart, & I thought I heard a great Noise, & looking up
towards the Sky I thought I saw numbers of Angels coming towards me
w<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">ch</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> lighted down by me, so that the Walk where I was was full; they were as
I thought all dressed in white, & I was the same , they had each of them two
Wings w<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">ch</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> I thought grew out of each Shoulder, but I thought I had none; After
a short time spent in singing, & a Sweet harmony of <sic>Musick</sic>  <corr>Music</corr>, I thought
all those happy Spirits went to a fine Pool of Water w<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">ch</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> was in a Meadow,
& I went with them, & I thought we all washed our Feet; And after that
they all flew up, & I was left alone: I then got more easy in my Mind, &
thought I might take it for granted that God would forgive me my Sins
or I should not have had such a pleasant dream: I soon forgot to whom
I was to look for preservation, & got into a very Self working Strain for
sometime. <gap></gap>In my 22<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">d</hi></hi> Year was marr<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">d</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> to my present Husband, in this
new State I was more Introduc'd to Company & Pleasure, but still kept Self-
righteousness very close to me; but at length I grew that I could mix -
Religion & the pleasures of the World together. I had a very tender and 
Affectionate Husband, & I went on in my unhappy State very easy for about
4 Years. (after I was <sic>marry'd</sic>  <corr>married</corr>) about w<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">ch</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> time I went to hear the B<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">rn</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> now &
then, & I soon began to Wish to be in some <sic>connexion</sic>  <corr>connection</corr> with them, w<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">ch</hi></hi> was
granted me, my dear Sav<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">r</hi></hi> soon shewed me how f<emotion>ilthy all my self righteousness
appeared,</emotion> & that nothing but being washed in the blood of the Lamb would
make me happy: The enemy of Man now began to Roar, & <emotion>great uneasiness</emotion>