Moravian Lives

any one to see me & stay'd until it was dark: At another time the
Enemy put such thoughts into my Head, as I saw no likelyhood  likelihood of my
finding happiness on Earth, I would therefore take the first Opportunity of
putting an end to my Life; and I went one day by the Water Side to com-
pleat  plete my Wicked Intention; but the ever faithfull  faithful Friend of Sinners still
watched over me, & prevented my wicked design: I returned home with
Shame, & true Repentance, begging of the Lord to put all such thoughts
far from me, & to look in Mercy on my afflicted Soul; A few Nights after
I dreamed that I was in my Fathers Garden, & was sighing & bemoaning
my distress of heart, & I thought I heard a great Noise, & looking up
towards the Sky I thought I saw numbers of Angels coming towards me
wch lighted down by me, so that the Walk where I was was full; they were as
I thought all dressed in white, & I was the same , they had each of them two
Wings wch I thought grew out of each Shoulder, but I thought I had none; After
a short time spent in singing, & a Sweet harmony of Musick  Music, I thought
all those happy Spirits went to a fine Pool of Water wch was in a Meadow,
& I went with them, & I thought we all washed our Feet; And after that
they all flew up, & I was left alone: I then got more easy in my Mind, &
thought I might take it for granted that God would forgive me my Sins
or I should not have had such a pleasant dream: I soon forgot to whom
I was to look for preservation, & got into a very Self working Strain for
sometime. In my 22d Year was marrd to my present Husband, in this
new State I was more Introduc'd to Company & Pleasure, but still kept Self-
righteousness very close to me; but at length I grew that I could mix -
Religion & the pleasures of the World together. I had a very tender and 
Affectionate Husband, & I went on in my unhappy State very easy for about
4 Years. (after I was marry'd  married) about wch time I went to hear the Brn now &
then, & I soon began to Wish to be in some connexion  connection with them, wch was
granted me, my dear Savr soon shewed me how filthy all my self righteousness
appeared, & that nothing but being washed in the blood of the Lamb would
make me happy: The enemy of Man now began to Roar, & great uneasiness