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lo my poor Heart, Though some times
between whiles a thought wou'd dart into
my mind who knows but I shall be sav'd at
last perhaps Jesus do love me and one promise
after another wou'd come into my mind
that my very Heart wou'd leap for Joy,
But soon after I shou'd give all over
think it was some thing of my own
making and gett into my old course of duties
as before, Till at last I was aweary
of my self rightous life, for the more I
did strive the faster I was so that I did not
love to hear so much of people doings
for I found it was all nothing but stuff
and with a full determination thought
if I perrish I will perrish at the feet of
Jesus as a poor sinner, For I was sensible
that nothing cou'd [sattisfie] my poor heart
but Him, And about this time as I was in
in the Coal Pitt [makeing] my complaint to the
Lord Jesus as I use to do had I but a Minutes
time, But all of a sudden it was as though
He spoke to me I am love and do love thee
But what I felt in my Heart that moment words
will not express, all my uneasiness of
Heart was gone in a moment, And Him
whome I look'd upon before as being Angry
with me I found was my best freind in the
whole world, and had it been possible I cou'd then