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with other company then perhaps I shou'd
be better satisfied, But this wou'd not do
for it was all in vain, For when I was coming
home my Heart wou'd begin to smite me
thinking [wheare] have I been and what will
become of me if I go an at this rate,
Then I shou'd make many resolutions not
to do so no more and bag of the Lord to forgive
me, But in a few days all my resolutions
wou'd be broken, And I shou'd think it is
time enough and for me to turn to the Lord, I may
live a great while, I am but young and
as my Father died in the Consumption
so may I, and then it will be time
enough to repent and turn to the Lord,
But this wou'd not [sattisfie] my poor
mind long together, For when The thoughts
of Dying suddenly or being Kill'd in
the Pitt did come in mind I did not know
what to do, But shou'd bag of the Lord to spare
me alittle longer, for I cou'd not bear
the thoughts of leaving the world in the
condition I was then in, This it went on
for many years together sinning and repenting
and striving to gett happiness in the pleasures
of this life if possible but it was all in
vain, for I was disapointed in all my