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14.
at this solemn feast, I was permitted to
<emotion>feel my self viler than the vile, so that I
feared</emotion> and trembled exceedingly. Yet I after=
=wards was enabled to turn in prayer to our
Savior, and he granted me such a sweet sen=
=sation of his pardoning love, that <emotion>my doubts
were removed</emotion>, and by degrees I learned to
know, that a broken and contrite heart is most
acceptable in his sight, and that poverty of
spirit is the best preparation for this sacred
ordinance. Some months now elapsed, in which
I enjoyed true peace and rest; I seemed to have
obtained all I wished; nor would I have ex=
=changed my lot for all this world could af=
=ford. But a severe trial was at hand, of
which a secret voice seemed occasionally to warn
me; but I earnestly prayed that the stroke might
be averted, thinking it would be heavier than I
could bear. My Dear Fathers health had been
declining for some years, and he grew very in=
=firm. My attachment to him had been great.
and deservedly so, from early infancy. The
many prayers I have heard him offer at the throne
of grace, for all his children, and my self in par=
=ticular, have been ever considered among the
numberless mercies, for which I am indebted
to sovereign and unmerited goodness. In
<date>August</date> I went with my Sister to pay him