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from actual pollution, I felt at those times as tho I was in
the Presence of some <sic>Awfull</sic>  <corr>Awful</corr> Being who would not suffer him
to touch me -  My Br. being very ill of a Fever I was sent for
He was quite <sic>sencless</sic>  <corr>senseless</corr> and died the next day - at his Decease
two thirds of the Estate fell to the City for want of renewing 
the lives - part of the remainder I sold to pay his debt tho he was
not quite of <gap>???</gap> Age - at this time I grew very <sic>thoughtfull</sic>  <corr>thoughtful</corr> leaving
my Br. was lost and that I should be so two ... to pass it of I went
to <placename>London</placename> from thence to <placename>Southampton</placename> and various other places but
the <sic>uneasyness</sic>  <corr>uneasiness</corr> of my heart followed me everywhere ... I grew sick
and tired of the World and of every thing I used to delight in
I returnd to <placename>Bristol</placename> for soon all my Gay companions went to
<gap>???</gap> live by myself and was resolvd to try if there was any
happiness to be found in Religion - went constantly to Church &
I kept a School for children for my Support as I had but one small
House left which brought me in but 4 Pounds a year. the remainder
I had spent.. and now my whole life was painted before my eyes -
every fault I had <sic>commited</sic>  <corr>committed</corr> in the strongest colours .. my outward
affairs seemd very bad, as my School did not answer my expectation
But that text came strongly into my mind - Seek ye first the
kingdom of God and his Righteousness and all these things shall
be added into you - I was now effectually Awakend from the sleep
of Death seeing myself a poor last undone creature without a Sav.<hi rend="superscript">r</hi>
what brought me to the brink of Despair was I felt what I had
been ashamd of had despisd and even hated the Lord Jesus
who had bought me with his Blood - how then could I love
to appear at his Judgment seat, and he might call me hence in
a moment - - these words at times gave me a ray of hope - - - 
the Wages of Sin is death. But the gift of God is Eternal Life
thro Jesus Christ our Lord - but my distress returnd again
with a greater force - one day as I was in my <sic>Appartment</sic>  <corr>Apartment</corr>
quite alone in such Anguish of mind as no words can express - -
it came into my mind. Believe of the Lord Jesus Christ
and thou shalt be saved  _ I cried out, Lord what is believing
O save one save me - - at that moment Our Sav.<hi rend="superscript">r</hi> stood before
my heart in his Crucified form. I fell at his feet - - and when
I arose found all my load of guilt was gone. I could now believe
and not till now that Jesus Christ was God overall Blessed
for evermore and my Sav.<hi rend="superscript">r</hi> - - my Soul was full of Life, Light
and Love - - the Scriptures of truth which before was seald up
was now open to my <sic>viens</sic>  <corr>veins</corr> . . and wondered at my former blindness
When I read the Sufferings of our Sav.<hi rend="superscript">r</hi> my heart burnd with love
to Him, and thought I could suffer the most cruel Death
                                                                                        for