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to our Saviour, & I took often Resolutions to carry on
an other Life, but before I could recollect myself I
fell in my former Custom, so that I soon fell & soon
riseth again, & in this Condition I had a very heavy
<sic>Christendoom</sic> <corr>Christendom</corr>. At last I fell in thoughts, that there must
be another Way to come to a remaining Peace & a true
enjoyment of Happiness. I beggd to dear God he himself
would <sic>leed</sic> <corr>lead</corr> me & bring me to the right Path, then
I would't trust to discover myself to any Body; but
I could hinder that my Sister should not spy out what
I was about; & She was a awakened Person. She seekd
for a Opportunity to speak w<hi rend="superscript">th</hi>. me, & so I told her my
Concern. She advised <add>me</add> to the Brethren who lived here, &
she directly help'd me out of my Dream, but as I
mistrusted myself I desireth to go to the Congregation,
but they did't advise <add>me</add> to do it, but on the contrary they
made it very <sic>dificult</sic> <corr>difficult</corr> & heavy to me, however they
disadvised me the more eager I became to pursue
my Intention; & accordingly resolved to go & came
the 3<hi rend="superscript">d</hi>. of March <date>1742</date> to <placename>Hhuth</placename>, & got Leave to stay.
<date>A</date><hi rend="superscript"><date>o</date></hi><date>. 1742 the 3</date><hi rend="superscript"><date>d</date></hi><date>. of March</date> I was receiv<hi rend="superscript">d</hi>. into the Congrg<hi rend="superscript">n</hi>.
& <date>1743. the 19 of Jan.</date> became Partaker on our Lords
Supper. I was to inform the Children in the Anstalt
at <placename>Hhuth</placename> & <sic>afterwart</sic> <corr>afterward</corr> went wth. some Children
from thence to <sic><placename>Silesie</placename></sic><placename> </placename><corr><placename>Silesia</placename></corr> & continued as in <placename>Hhuth</placename>.
For reason of the Weakness of my Body I did a
Journey home to see my Relations, which fell out
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very difficult, because I was at the Point to give the
Congregation the Slip, & to conform myself to the World
again. This false <sic>intented </sic> <corr>intended</corr> Step brought me in the greatest
<sic>Uneasyness</sic> <corr>Uneasiness</corr> & Distress of my Heart; but afterwards to a much more
Certainty of my Destination to the Congregation. I aquainted
<persname>B</persname><hi rend="superscript"><persname>r</persname></hi><persname>. Johannes</persname> w<hi rend="superscript">th</hi>. my Circumstances in a Letter, & got Leave
again <date>1750</date> the <date>in May</date> to come to the Congregation. In
the <date>Month of Dec</date>: h.a. I got Absolution about all my <sic>Iniquitys</sic> <corr>Iniquities</corr>
& from this Time went on, in a near <sic>Conexion</sic> <corr>Connection</corr> w<hi rend="superscript">th</hi>. my
Sav<hi rend="superscript">r</hi>. to as a happy Child in the Congregation. (So far his
own Intelligence.) He proceedeth his Course now <sic>Sinerlike</sic> <corr>Sinnerlike</corr>
& happy. The Situation of his Heart did he sometimes
express in Verses for himself. The <date>first of July</date> he said among
the rest: Wa̎rest du nicht ein so trues Herze;
Das so unaussprechlich liebt;
Nehmest Du nicht Theil an allen Shmerze
Der ein Hertz manchmal betrübt:
O, so wa̎rs gewiss um mich <sic>geshehen</sic> <corr>gesehen</corr>
und ich ha̎tte müssen untergehen
denn in was Confussion, steckt ich armes Kind nicht shon!
x x x
Aber so hast du dich mein erbormet
und in meiner grösten noch
Mich gar oft recht inniglich umarmet
War ich gleich als wie halb tod,
Wenn mir alle Hofnung wolt <sic>vershwinden</sic> <corr>verschwinden</corr>
Liesest du dein Herze mich empfinden
Wie du gegen mich dein Kind, nach wie fur, seyst got gesinnt,
