.300045.4000764
went to Bristol and inquir'd where he liv'd and
[gott] him over to Kingswood with us that night,
He slept at my House and I never thought my
self so Happy in all my former company as I did
when I was along with him, and often
did [unbosom] my mind unto Him as my only
friend, But about this time I heard Mr. Wesley
Preach up a Self denial life; how we shou'd live
and walk which put me to work and caus'd me
many a Akin heart afterward, so that I did
often times wish I cou'd never Eat Drink nor
Sleep no more till I did know the Lord Jesus did
love me and had forgiven me my Sins, Then
I was Confirm'd went to the Sacrament
thinking to find Ease there , But I found it
quite to the contrary, for this added to my
trouble that I was more condem'd then Ever,
Thinking no ones condition like mine
in the whole world, tossed to and fro to [gett]
rest for my poor heart but cou'd find
none, and was often times making of
Resolutions to [gett] into the woods or to some
retired place where I might spend the
rest of my days and never Eat nor drink
no more till I did know that Jesus Christ did love
me, But in this I was also disapointed for go
where I wou'd and [oneasinefs] of my heart and the
thoughts of leaving this world and not know
I shou'd be sav'd wou'd make me in such a