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I yielded to many evil propensities.
Now instead of tender impressions
of my Savior's love, the stings of con-
science a condemning conscience
tormented me, & my evil heart con-
tinually prompting me, I became
a slave to my sinful inclinations
In my 17<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">t</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript">h</hi> year I left <placename>Bedford</placename> &
returned to <placename>London</placename> to assist my Father
in his business, & being much expos-
ed to the world, I imbibed many things
which had a pernicious effect on
my mind, & secretly loved sin. In
these years my dear Savior merci-
fully held his hand over me & pre-
served me from falling into gross sins,
but the secret wickedness of my heart
brought me into <emotion>such distress of mind
that I wished I had never been born,</emotion>
I envied the hearts that perish, deem-
ing them <emotion>far happier than myself;</emotion>
for I thought they answered the end
of their creation; but as for me, I
did not answer the views of the Lord,
but was a sinner that would once be