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This may first approach to the Lord's Table was
with strong crying & tears; with much tumbling
& deep contrition of heart. Indeed the sense of
my excuding[?] sinfulness, my depravity & in-
bud[?] corruption, my great unworthiness & un
fitness for so great a blessing; these reflections
humbled me in the dust before God, & caused me
to abhor myself as in dust & ashes. Again when
I considered the holiness, the purity, the majes-
ty & infinite perfections of that divinely glori
ous being, whom I was now going to approach,
I was struck with amazement at his great
love & condescension in admitting such an
unworthy, [???] deserving creature to eat & drink at
his table with the children of the kingdom who had
so long been feeding upon husks with the swine.
Surely it is a time much to be remembered by me; a
time of unfeigned repentance. In the language of
the <orgname>Church of England</orgname> Communion service, I
could say, 'I do earnestly repent & am heartily sorry
'for these my misdoings; the remembrance of them is
'grievous unto me; the burthen[?] of them is intolera-
'ble' - these were words which my heart wept out. Sick
of sin; hungring & thirsting often righteousness; sen-
sible of the innumerable unrighteousness which