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13.
heart! Who can know it? In <date>October</date> the
same year, I was favor'd to be spectator
at the Holy Communion, which <emotion>filled me
with gratitude and praise</emotion>. The moments I
spent beholding the Congregation partake of
their divine repast, were <emotion>some of the happi=
=est in my whole life</emotion>, I will not attempt to
describe what I enjoyed; Suffice it to say, it
was <emotion>inexpressible delight</emotion>, such as has seldom
fallen to my lot here below; nor perhaps
would it have been the best for me. for
through human weakness, even this proved
the occasion of some perplexity. When I became 
a Candidate for the Holy Communion on <date>Good-
=Friday 1785.</date> I was led to expect the same
degree of enjoyment as before, but was not
so favor'd, at which <emotion>I felt disappointed</emotion>.
To be a partaker of the Lord's body and blood
sacramentally appeared very important to me, 
and I felt unworthy of such a privilege. <gap></gap>My
views, at this time, were certainly too legal,
and I formed erroneous ideas respecting the prop=
=er state of heart, in which we should draw
nigh to the Table of the Lord. On the <date>17th.
of April</date>, after previous confirmation, I par=
=took of the Lords Supper, with the Congregati=
=on the first time. But instead of that sanc=
=tity and holiness which I thought indispen=
=sable for every communicant to enjoy at