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from actual pollution, I felt at those times as <abbr>tho</abbr> I was in<br />
the Presence of some <sic>Awfull</sic>&nbsp; <corr>Awful</corr> Being who would not suffer him<br />
to touch me -&nbsp; My <abbr>Br</abbr>. being very ill of a Fever I was sent for<br />
He was quite <sic>sencless</sic>&nbsp; <corr>senseless</corr> and died the next day - at his Decease<br />
two thirds of the Estate fell to the City for want of renewing&nbsp;<br />
the lives - part of the remainder I sold to pay his debt <abbr>tho</abbr> he was<br />
not quite of <gap>???</gap> Age - at this time I grew very <sic>thoughtfull</sic>&nbsp; <corr>thoughtful</corr> leaving<br />
my <abbr>Br</abbr>. was lost and that I should be so two ... to pass it of I went<br />
to <placename>London</placename> from thence to <placename>Southampton</placename> and various other places but<br />
the <sic>uneasyness</sic>&nbsp; <corr>uneasiness</corr> of my heart followed me everywhere ... I grew sick<br />
and tired of the World and of every thing I used to delight in<br />
I returnd to <placename>Bristol</placename> for soon all my Gay companions went to<br />
<gap><del>???</del></gap> live by myself and was <abbr>resolvd</abbr> to try if there was any<br />
happiness to be found in Religion - went constantly to Church &amp;<br />
I kept a School for children for my Support as I had but one small<br />
House left which brought me in but 4 Pounds a year. the remainder<br />
I had spent.. and now my whole life was painted before my eyes -<br />
every fault I had <sic>commited</sic>&nbsp; <corr>committed</corr> in the strongest colours .. my outward<br />
affairs seemd very bad, as my School did not answer my expectation<br />
But that text came strongly into my mind - Seek ye first the<br />
kingdom of God and his Righteousness and all these things shall<br />
be added into you - I was now effectually <abbr>Awakend</abbr> from the sleep<br />
of Death seeing myself a poor last undone creature without a <abbr>Sav.</abbr><hi rend="superscript"><abbr>r</abbr></hi><br />
what brought me to the brink of Despair was I felt what I had<br />
been <abbr>ashamd</abbr> of had <abbr>despisd</abbr> and even hated the Lord Jesus<br />
who had bought me with his Blood - how then could I love<br />
to appear at his Judgment seat, and he might call me hence in<br />
a moment - - these words at times gave me a ray of hope - - -&nbsp;<br />
the Wages of Sin is death. But the gift of God is Eternal Life<br />
<abbr>thro</abbr> Jesus Christ our Lord - but my distress <abbr>returnd</abbr> again<br />
with a greater force - one day as I was in my <sic>Appartment</sic>&nbsp; <corr>Apartment</corr><br />
quite alone in such Anguish of mind as no words can express - -<br />
it came into my mind. Believe of the Lord Jesus Christ<br />
and thou shalt be saved&nbsp; _ I cried out, Lord what is believing<br />
O save one save me - - at that moment Our <abbr>Sav.</abbr><hi rend="superscript"><abbr>r</abbr></hi> stood before<br />
my heart in his Crucified form. I fell at his feet - - and when<br />
I arose found all my load of guilt was gone. I could now believe<br />
and not till now that Jesus Christ was God overall Blessed<br />
for evermore and my <abbr>Sav.</abbr><hi rend="superscript"><abbr>r</abbr></hi> - - my Soul was full of Life, Light<br />
and Love - - the Scriptures of truth which before was <abbr>seald</abbr> up<br />
was now open to my <sic>viens</sic>&nbsp; <corr>veins</corr> . . and wondered at my former blindness<br />
When I read the Sufferings of our <abbr>Sav.</abbr><hi rend="superscript"><abbr>r</abbr></hi> my heart <abbr>burnd</abbr> with love<br />
to Him, and thought I could suffer the most cruel Death<br />
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