Moravian Lives

who treated me with much love, so that I in time got
a love for the People of the Brn tho I had nothing in my
heart, and as I frequented some of the meetings, and
also kept up a conexion  connection with the Srs I got more and
more love for them, and at last found myself very happy
among them, so that I thought I had now obtaind every
thing, and simply related my happiness to any one to
whom I had an opportunity of doing it, but once during
a Sermon of the late B.r LasTrobes concerning the Sin of
unbelief, I was all at once convinc'd that I by nature
was full of Sin and misery, this being quite the contra-
-ry to what I had so lately felt and thought of myself
it made me quite ashamed to speak to any of those with
whom I had formerly conversd thinking they woud look
upon me as nothing but a hypocrite, this brought on a 
reservedness, which lasted many Years, so that I spent
my time in continual heaviness, keeping every thing to
myself, I discoverd more and more how deeply I was
Spoild by Sin, of which I felt powerfull  powerful stirring with
me, I had also many Struggles with regard to the Cong.n
and the world, wishing at times to give myself up entire_
ly to our Sav.r, and at other times to follow my natural
inclination in the world, but all this I kept to myself
thinking if I disclosd the bad things I felt, I shoud be
deprivd of all conexion  connection with the Brn and if I told the
good desires of my heart, I shoud be thought a hypocrite
and thus I reasond within myself Year after Year, in
my 18th year as I was at the G.r Sabbath lovefeast,
my heart was very dark, I thought there coud be no
truth in our Sav.rs being a Corpse, and began to think
we were decievd in the whole affair, but as I for pon_
-dering over it, and supposd it might be time, I began