Moravian Lives

39.
to my own hurt and detriment. At length
in the latter part of this memorable year 1792.
one evening when we were alone, she expressed
great concern on my account, adding, that my
conduct was so strange, there must be some
hidden cause which I would not disclose even to
her, by which she was deprived of sharing the
burthen with me, as she had often done before.
This was a stroke I could not evade. But felt
the remark in all its force. At last I owned 
that my distress was great, but to burthen 
her with it, was useless: no mortal could
help me, and though I sought the Lord, He
hid his face from me. She replied, You do not
seek Him aright, you want to be helped in
your own way; but are not willing to submit
to His way: This is the only cause of your
present misery. I could only reply, you
little know how thankful I should be to find
deliverance in any way. Her answer was, You
would soon obtain it, if you cease from all self
working, and cast your self, as a poor perish=
=ing sinner at the feet of Jesus, where none
can perish. Upon this we retired to rest.
My friends conversation rivetted  riveted itself in
my breast: the first of it, wounded me deeply,
but the latter clause sunk into my heart.
It began to soften, I cried out in the anguish