Moravian Lives

27.
information, and food for the mind, which I
thought was only to be acquired by reading a vari=
=ety of books; that I have been led to murmur a=
=gainst providence, that such a strong desire was
implanted within me, and the means of gratifying
it witheld  withheld! Now, many books were put into my
hands, of which I knew nothing before, some of
which I read with pleasure and satisfaction: they
left no taint on the mind. But a certain de=
=scription of books, particular those pernicious
ones, called Novels, were not only offered to
me, but every arguments used, that could be
thought of, to induce me to read them. In
time past I should not have hesitated much,
yea, perhaps might have perused them with ea=
=gerness; but now I felt such an inward
check that I durst not touch them, fearing
that if I once began, I should not know
where to stop, but should fall deeper and deep=
=er into error. What can I ascribe this cir=
=cumstance to, but alone to the power of re=
=straining and preventing grace?
From the time of my dear Fathers decease,
I was convinced that the business we were
left to conduct would never answer, and was
very uneasy about it, but could not resolve
to make my mind known to our guardian.
My youngest Brother was now apprentic'd,
but the eldest, with whom I lived, was
unprovided for, and must in a case of