Moravian Lives

22.
But blessed be His name, He never left me
alone, but followed me through all the mazes
and windings, into which I was led by a heart
that is deceitful above all things. The 2 Years
that followed, I would rather pass over in si=
=lence, though they were some of the most re=
=markable in my whole life, and perhaps also
not the least usefull  useful. Could I describe the ex=
=perience I made and what my soul passed
through during this period, it might, probably, al=
=most stagger belief: but I will not attempt it.
it is only known to Him, who neither slumbers,
nor sleeps, and who watched over me with unre=
=mitting care, never suffering me to wander far
from the way of peace, without a pang. This I
count a peculiar mercy. Well can I remember
sitting in cheerful company, and feeling that a 
mark was set upon me, which made me sin=
=gular to others, and a burthen to my self; and
which |with shame I [?] it| I would gladly
have shaken off, in order to be light and easy
as the rest. What work this for repentance!
Ah! How did my heart condemn me, when I
reflected on the awful state of being ashamed of
Jesus, and even of wishing to throw off the very
appearance of being a follower of the Lamb.
Notwithstanding all my exertions to appear like
those I associated with, to join in the laugh, and
partake of their innocent mirth |as it is termed|