Moravian Lives

of mind, which affected my life & spirits, have
been soothed & alleviated by that only true
Physician of Soul and Body, whose love I can
never sufficiently reward, tho' I love him ardent
=ly. If I had always acted conformable to
the dictates of my conscience, I should have
been happier than I was, constantly opposing
them. O my righteous Lord Jesus Christ! 
Have mercy upon me, vile Sinner!
When I went to the University, I awoke.
I began to explore the state of Mankind in 
general, fallen by sin, into misery & unhappiness
& in particular my own corrupted heart; and
this caused me to seek the face of the Lord in
truth: yea in all I did at the University,
it became my first, middle & last concern &
my chief hearts desire, to find peace and
salvation, remission of sins & eternal life in
Jesus my Saviour. The load of my Sins lay
heavy upon me, and the condemnation I felt
in my conscience was so bitter & dreadful 
to me, that during that whole time, I con=
=versed but little with those around me. The
anxiety of my soul was exceeding great, so
that I could not find words to express it,
nor could I speak of it to any one. The fear
of death, external Judgement & hell seized