Moravian Lives

                                                                       21
I felt in myself. I prayed to our Saviour constantly
and with much concern, and yet it seemed to me that
I grew worse instead of growing better. As the discourses
of the Labourers at that time in Marienborn, tended most
commonly to inculcate, that we should not be easy, nor
rest contented, till such and such particular things were
removed, and more to the same purpose. It caused among
us all a legal and dejected course, which was very much
the case with me, but finding that the more I strove the
more miserable I grew, and become very unhappy,
which lasted a considerable time, altho' I had at times
hours and days when our Saviour drew near my heart
in a powerful manner, and if this had not been the
case, I should have sunk under the deep sense of my
Misery but this upheld me. When the so-called -
playful-time, a time of extravagance both in doctrine
and in practice commenced in the Year 1747, which
tho' well meant at first, yet degenerated gradually
in such a manner that it might have proved the
total ruin in the Congn, if our faithful and gracious
Lord had not prevented it, I was drawn into it by
degrees also, and tho' our dr Saviour preserved me
all the time from many hurtful things, and never
suffered me in my mind to indulge any thing which
I knew to be contrary to his heart, but the losing