Moravian Lives

soon obtaind Leave to Stay, came the 7th. of July into 
the Seminary at Lindheim, and in the Beginning of
August removed with the Seminary and Nursery to Ma-
-rienborn, and was on the 30th. of the Same received into the
Congregation. But as I reason'd too much over the then
flighty Period, and the Feeling of the poor Sinnership was
yet wanting to me, this caused that my Heart did not
rightly enjoy the Grace of Reception. In Octr. the same
Year I came to live with the Children, and the 2d. of Jany.
40. to the first Participation of the Holy Sacrament with
the Congregation, and was admitted an Acolyte. But
notwithstanding all these Blessings, the Confusion of my 
Mind still continued: the being happy as a poor Sinner
was a Mystery to me, but my faithful Saviour sought
to bring me upon my original Depravity in Soul and
Body, and I would feel nothing of all This, but would only
feel happy. By this I at last got into such Anxiety
that the World seemd too narrow for me. There was no
Body that I had a Confidence to, to unbosom my Distress
to him; in the Congregation I had no Happiness, I thot. 

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many 1000 Times of going away, but which way so ever
I turn'd my Thoughts, I found nothing to comfort me; yes
the Disorder of my Mind went so far, that I reasond. Is
there a God, or Saviour? perhaps all the Grace that 
I have felt is only Fancy. But the Thought that our
Saviour; out of unfathomable Love, had brought me to
himself and to his Congregation, at last gaind the upper
-hand. I felt that if I were as holy as an Angel, and had
no Enjoyment of Jesu's Blood and Wounds, I should only
be as a dry Stick. This gave my Reasoning a mighty
Shock, my Heart and Mind grew serene as a poor Sinner
I viewd the Wounds of Jesus with Delight, and began now
| after I had spent 3 long Years in this Situation of Heart |
to expect every Day from our Saviour, what would make me
and preserve me happy. In the while I had removed with the
Seminary to Barby. Here I received my Call to Pensylvania  Pennsylvania 
in August 57. and in Consequence of that travelled  traveled with the Brethn
Bader and Rund to London, and after some Stay there, pro-
-ceeded with Br. Joseph and his Company to New York, and arriv'd
happily in Bethm. the 11th. of Decr. The Year 52 was a 
blessed year to me, the happy Sinnor  Sinner Point was invaluable, and