Moravian Lives

22
in some measure sight of his tormented form on the
Cross, and soaring with the rest of my poor deluded B<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">rn</hi></hi>
into enthusiastic flights and fancies of some superior
happiness I became dry in my heart, and it also gave
occasion to a lightness in my conduct, <emotion>which I shall
ever be ashamed of as long as I live.</emotion> When in the
year <date>1749</date>, our Saviour according to his great faithful
-ness and love, made the whole Cong<hi rend="underline"><hi rend="superscript">n</hi></hi><hi rend="superscript"></hi> sensible of our 
dangerous deviations from the only real happiness
as poor sinners in a crucified Saviour. I was also
greatly affected, and <emotion>saw with much heart-felt sorrow
and grief my manifold deviations in this respect.</emotion>
I turned to my merciful Saviour with my whole heart
as a great sinner, and emplored him for his pardon,
which he also graciously granted me. Nothing affected
and grieved me more, than that I had suffered myself
to be led to think, that it was possible for me to find
a happiness superior <add>to</add> that in his precious atoning blood
and it struck me again with fresh energy and power,
that herein alone I had from first to last found re-
mission of all my sins, and deliverance from all its
power and misery, and had enjoyed all the happiness
I could desire. <emotion>This ingratitude and unfaithfulness 
pressed many sinner tears from my eyes,</emotion> and I felt